I really need MOTIVATION!!!!!

The very thought of school makes mi really SICK.Can actually believe it,i actually have to lie to myself jus to be in sch.Can u actually believe it,cus i cant?seriously,my goal in life jus SUDDENLY Vanish,like PUFF!!!gone.lost.,i wonder is tt y i haven been motivated.maybe nw is nt the rite time to Q myself wif all these Q's since i have 2 lab test tml,2 submission next week,n MST the followin week,but honeslty how can u do sumthing properly when u r actually havin doubts abt urself?does this really sounds like im depression,for nw i dun think so,but in times to come idk.i jus realise tt,my motivaiton in the past was actually to compare myself wif others,but nw i actually couldnt be much bother,SERIOUSLY wad is WRONG WIF MI,tel mi.tell mi wads my motiviation,i need a GUIDE,sum1 jus tell mi wad i can do.i really hate LYING to myself.